Nothing Says Valentine’s Like Sausage

U.S. Nationals Short Track Championships

Looking for a Valentine’s Day gift for your significant other, but you don’t want to bother with all the headaches that come along with trying to get a thoughftul gift?  The Brewers have you covered.

You can log onto brewers.com and bid to have your partner serenaded by the racing sausages.  Why go through all that trouble to say “I love you, honey” when you can get a guy in a hot dog suit to do it for you? While this might sound cool to quite a few guys in Wisconsin, for some reason I don’t think our lady friends would appeciate it as much as some nice flowers, chocolates, or jewelry.  Just a hunch.

The package also includes tickets to a Brewers/Pirates game in April and a sappy scoreboard message that will be displayed during the game.  It’ll set you back a few benjamins, though — the opening bid is $300.  Ninety percent of the proceeds from the auction are going to charity, though, so it is for a good cause.

One thing I did get a kick out of, though, were the disclaimers at the bottom, particularly the Conditions of Sale: “Items are sold in ‘as-is’ condition.”

So remember, if your sausages show up bruised and bandaged, you can’t get your money back.

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