One of The Brewers Bar’s undercover reporters was in Chicago this morning and recorded the following:
Lou: Brad? Brad Childress? It’s me–Lou…Lou Pinella. Just calling to see how’re doing?
Brad: Lou? Um, I’m okay, I guess. What prompted you to call?
Lou: Well, I know how it is being the skipper of a franchise with a history of…er, losing. After all, I’m the manager of the Cubs.
Brad: Yes, I know. The “Loveable Losers.” I bet that gets old quick.
Lou: Oh, yeah. Ron tells me it was almost licked until that whole Steve Bartman incident.
Brad: I imagine. Well, we thought we might have had it licked this year.
Lou: Yes, I know…you gave it a good try. I was pulling for you guys…pulling for you…pulling for Brett.
Brad: Thanks…I know a lot of people were. Pretty much everyone except Packers’ fans…and Bills’ fans, of course.
Lou: Well…let’s face it–4 straight Super Bowl losses, followed by 5 straight NFC Championship losses…man, that’s even worse than us.
Brad: Yeah, I know, I know…but at least we’ve been to our league championship a few times since 1945.
Lou: Yeah…media loves to remind you about that at the start of every season…I mean, hey, I was only 2 when that happened…and now they expect me to end a century of losing? Gimme a break.
Brad: Oh, yeah. And getting compared to Bud Grant and Dennis Green all the time. I mean, I had the best running back from last season, a top notch defense, and a future Hall of Famer as a ringer–how could I lose? I must be cursed or something.
Lou: Nah, not you my friend…it’s not you…it’s the franchise…someone, somewhere must have stopped a goat or a moose from entering Metropolitan Stadium. That’s what happened here. Nothing you can do about it. It is destiny…“Chicago…city of broad shoulders and narrow trophy cases.” Thank God the Sox ended their curse.
Brad: Yeah, well, it must be nice to have another team that fans can root for…take the heat off of you. Up here in “da nort woods” there is only the Vikings. Hell, half the people in our state haven’t even heard of the Timberwolves or the Wild.
Lou: Well, hang in there. Come next month, the media will start calling us the “Loveable Losers” again…and everyone will have forgotten about the Vikings again.
Brad: Thanks…hey, one last thing–if it comes down to the final play of the game…don’t let your starting arm throw on the last pitch…might get intercepted.
Lou: Sure thing…hell, I’d never let Zambrano pitch the ninth…you know what they say: “You can’t spell ‘Favre’ without an ‘I-N-T’ and you can’t spell ‘Zambrano’ without an ‘H-R.'”