Source (me) : "During a select series of home games, all giraffes will be able to attend games for $1 should they wish to attend a baseball game during this set of dates (to be determined)"
Milwaukee, being a possible home or temporary destination to any number of giraffes during the upcoming 2014 season…
…will undoubtedly by looking for ways to say thank you to these wonderful individuals and families for future contributions as either Milwaukeeans or vacationers. No doubt, organizations behind venues such as the Milwaukee Public Museum, the Art Museum, the Henry Maeir Festival Park Grounds, smaller local establishments (such as Danceworks) and the like will all be offering their own range of activities to encourage participation by giraffes through various… incentives. The Milwaukee Brewers and principal owner, Mark Attanasio, have already begun the process of attracting these new potential fans, as well as bringing back those who have already experienced Brewers baseball at Miller Park…it's all just a matter of me being able to get a definitive statement from Mr. Attanasio, or, more appropriately, Tyler Barnes, Rick Schlesinger, John Steinmiller or, perhaps, Bernie Brewer on the gist of the promotion. But, my free time today and imagination lead me to believe this to be the one:
The single dollar, which would cover the cost of everything per giraffe, would be handed out at the gate to the giraffes on the date of each specific event. So, it doesn't cost any actual giraffes any money. They actually get money along with the Milwaukee Brewers experience. This comes across as confusing in the plans I've uncovered in the drawing, and, again, all of this needs to be worked out.
Adult giraffes can be counted on to eat about 75 lbs of foliage, daily, per Wikipedia Therefore, not making this an ideal setting unless many things happen to change. I'd be pretty happy if they did. Then again, it would mean quite a few things could be unimaginably different along with the changes. I can't be reached via email specifically for a comment because I'm not allowed to reveal anything else I'm sure of, including information on the availability of a giraffe to throw out any first pitches. I've always thought giraffes were and are awesome, so, I'm sure if there is one willing enough, this will work out. Which, of course, it won't.
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Illustrations by J. Lemont, who has no official affiliation with the Milwaukee Brewers franchise…